Today I want to talk about a topic that’s very near and dear to my heart: club attire. You see, when I first moved to LA I used to be a clubbing machine! Then I met my boyfriend and retired all my skin tight dresses and booty shorts to the back of my closet, never to ever glimpse the dark of night again. But now that I’m hitting the club just like old times with my girl Nina this weekend, I decided I might as well drop some knowledge on all you ladies out there who are wondering, “What in the heck do I wear to the club, Liz!?” This is what, girls:
1. A Glow In The Dark Pop Molly Purse: Available in an array of club-friendly colors, such as “YOLO Yellow” and “Back It Up Black”, there’s no way your girl friends will have any trouble tracking you down on the dance floor when you’re literally lighting it up.
Glow in the Pop Purse, $95
2. Cynthia Rowley’s Flask Bangle: $15 for a cocktail at the club? Psh, who’s trying to pay that! Simply bring the pre-game with you in this classy flask bangle by Cynthia Rowley. Then sprint to the bathroom and drink up. Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, everyboddddy!
Flask Bangle, $365
3. A Bandage Skirt: A former club go-to of mine, bandage skirts are not only insanely sexy but ridiculously figure flattering as well. They’re kind of like chic Spanx (meaning that they suck you seriously in) and are perfect for camouflaging bloated bellies. I mean, why else do you think celebrities love ‘em so much? Just look how happy Kristin Cavallari is.
Pleasure Doing Business 4 Band Skirt in Black And White Small Stripes, $98
4. A Rain Jacket: You know, in case some douchebag makes it rain at da club, you’re totes prepared!
French Connection Techno Rain Bomber Jacket, $100
5. Booty Shorts: A club is a place where a whole lot of twerking is bound to go down. Thus, to ensure your butt looks its best, don’t forget to pop, lock and drop it in a pair of black booty shorts.
American Apparel Riding Shorts, $58
6. A Party Hat: As a general rule, it’s always best to let your fellow clubgoers know when the pawwwwty’s hereeeee (said in a drunk Snooki voice).
GLMR KILLS Party Hat, $30
7. Some Apple Bottom Jeans: While I’ve never actually bought any Apple Bottom Jeans myself (sorry, Nelly!), and frankly I don’t plan to, some cigarette skinnies ought to do the trick just fine. Remember to rock a crop top or shorter shirt with them though so as not to shield the derriere.
7 For All Mankind Coated Striped Cigarette Jeans, $139
8. And Boots With The Fur: No Apple Bottoms Jeans outfit is complete without some boots with the fur! “She hit the flo’, next thing you know shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.”
Jeffrey Campbell Lita-Fur Bootie, $185
9. A Flashy Mini: The right mini dress can really make all the difference between getting into the club ASAP or having to wait in line forever. The flashier and sexier it is, the better!
One Teaspoon The Fifth Element Leather Dress, $295
twerking image via